RAMBLINGS: The death sentence.

In NTU, each student is given a certain number of academic units (AUs) which can be chosen to be ungraded. This means that we take the module but all we have to do to clear it is to get a passing grade. And this is called SU option. Sounds awesome, aye?

But here's the catch. We have to SU the modules before we sit for the finals and get the grades (In NUS, you get to SU modules after you get the grades.). This often leads to me going into a complete frenzy, AFTER I have done my SUs.

It's like the 'calm before the storm' before the deadline for SUs is up. I will decide on the module to SU, SU it and then, not think about it. And when the deadline has well passed... I go 'Oh darn it. I think I shouldn't have SU-ed it. That module can actually give my GPA a nudge forward... Or maybe not. No, it can. OH DANG! Should I take MC for the paper?!? No, it's okay. Char, chill! SU is good.'. And when I decide not to SU anything, I will be like '@#@($#($!~! I should have SU-ed the bloody thing! No, it's okay. I'm going to study for it anyway. But noooooooooooo... I'm so going to fail! It's going to hurt my GPA!!!'. Say hello to a true blue Singaporean, steeped in kiasu-ness.

Unfortunately, in the situation that I suddenly decide that I can actually get an A for the module and save myself from a cruel death from my core modules (Math, please. Just die and give the world a break.), once the SU option is exercised, it's exercised for life. This means that even if I were to MC the paper or fail the paper and retake it again, it's SU-ed.

It's like a death sentence.

BIG SIGH. This is just me comforting myself for SU-ing my Japanese module. I actually think it can save the bleeding life out of me. You have no idea how insane my core modules are.
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Whilst choking myself to death with Linear Regression a moment ago, I realized just how close the end of my Math journey is. And it's a little scary that after 1342324054354935 AUs of Math modules that are 'beyond the normal human's comprehension', I am not, in the least bit, Math-y at all. I have friends who have Math in their blood. They speak Math. They think Math. They even look like Math.

But I'm just like "OHHH! Makeup!" or "OHHH! Vampires!!!" and these are often followed by lots of squealing and fangirl moments.
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I worry for my future.